By Lisa Pecos
First-time parents are often surprised by just how little their newborns are capable of doing. In the first few days of life, babies can hardly focus on their parents’ faces, let alone participate in play activities. And for weeks afterward, it is difficult to get newborns to focus on toys, look at books, or even pay attention to one thing for more than a few seconds. But despite these factors, newborns are more capable of learning than one might think, and they really can enjoy play. All you have to do is enter the baby’s world, rather than expecting her to come into ours just yet.
The newborn mind
Although we love to read all kinds of thoughts and feelings into our newborns’ actions and facial expressions, the reality is that much of what newborns do is based on instinct. Their perceptions of the world are vague and confused. They are aware of their parents, can recognize voices, and can convey a few basic messages, but they do not have much of what we would recognize as human thoughts.
In a word, newborns are unfocused. It takes months for their senses and nervous systems to get into the swing of things, and until then parents simply have to let their babies take the lead.
But with that said, here is the important point: While babies are unfocused, they do learn at an astonishing rate. It takes months for them to begin using what they learn, but from day one they are forming impressions of the world, taking in information, and developing patterns through trial and error. In fact, baby’s are in a way hyperaware in that their consciousness is not filtered in the way an adult’s is. So ultimately, as a parent, you play an important role in molding your baby and helping him or her take in the information that will later be put to use.
Playing newborn-style
Given what we know about the newborn mind, young babies can be receptive to virtually any kind of play you can think of, as long as you do not expect immediate results. For instance, holding and playing with toys in the baby’s line of sight will stimulate her and give her new information to store away in her brain, but she may not show any outward reaction.
At this stage, playing with the baby is all about simply exposing him to different sights and sounds. The life of an infant can be rather routine and sometimes isolated, so it is important to expose him to sensory sensations that he does not experience in the normal course of feeding, cuddling, diaper-changes, and sleep. So practically anything works.
The best time to play with a newborn is when she is in one of those brief but exciting states of alert wakefulness. When your baby is well fed and unfussy and you notice she is in a quietly attentive mood, try different things to entertain her. Hold children’s books in front of her and read the words (newborns love simple books with high-contrast colors, especially black and white, which they see very well), touch her hands and face with soft (and clean) baby toys, and of course sing her plenty of simple songs.
But you do not have to confine the activities to baby-oriented things. Newborns just need sensory stimulation, so rattling your keys or holding her in front of a window may be just as beneficial as any baby toy or children’s book.
Moving past the newborn stage
After a month or two, you will notice your baby becoming more interactive. Even if she is not smiling at you just yet (which should happen soon), you might notice her focusing on books for longer periods, reaching out to touch things that you hold near her, or getting calm when you sing a soft lullaby. This is where the fun part of being a parent starts.
Once your baby can respond to the world around her, experiment with different things. Give her daily supervised tummy time with toys nearby, and see if she takes a special interest in any of them. Let her try lots of different toys, but try not to overwhelm her with too much at once, and sensory over-stimulation can lead to fussiness. Try making funny faces and voices, and do not be shy about playing peek-a-boo and other silly games. It is a learning experience for both you and the baby, so make the most of it.