Making Friends When You Have a Baby

There are many reasons why you might want to make friends after you have had a baby. Perhaps you were content with only a few friends before but now feel the need to associate with other new parents. Maybe you find your childless friends have grown distant, or perhaps you have recently moved to a new area. Whatever your case may be, there will come a time when you may want to get out and even take some time away from the baby, and having friends makes this much easier and more enjoyable. And if your new friends have young kids as well, this presents great social-development opportunities for the young ones. There are many ways to approach making friends after you have had a baby, but here are a few crucial steps that can help make the process much easier. Step 1: Get comfortable going out Going outdoors with a newborn comes with a whole set of unique challenges, and many first-time parents are timid about it for at least the first few months. But if you are going to have any hope of finding new friends, you have to get comfortable going out as soon as possible. Even when your baby is too young to truly enjoy parks or children’s activities, think of it as practice for the more active times to come. Step 2: Find other new parents If your regular outings with baby do not put you into contact with other new parents, then you might have to take proactive steps to meet some people. Unless you live in a very rural area, you should be able to find a new parents’ group. After a few months, you will also find that there are many parent-and-child groups and classes that you can attend. Libraries and playgrounds are also ideal meeting places. Of course, one of the best ways to find opportunities to meet other parents is to go online. Many modern parent groups have strong web-based components, often including mailing lists and web forums. Step 3: Talk to other parents Putting yourself in the vicinity of other parents is only the beginning. You also have to talk to them, which can be difficult. At this stage, you do not have to try to hard to present yourself as an especially interesting or fun person. You are a new parent, which means you are primarily occupied with caring for your child. Other new parents will be going through the same thing. So do not feel like you are socially ill-prepared because all you have to talk about are baby-related things. If you often have trouble striking up conversations with people you do not know, then you might want to think about a few pickup lines that you can use on other new parents. There are many options: “How many months is she/he?” “That is a nice sling/stroller—where did you get it?” Or, “What milestones are you on?” Step 4: Make arrangements to meet up Often, making new friends comes with a bit of awkwardness. It is much like dating—you approach it with at least a tinge of fear of rejection, and the whole thing seems precarious for a while. But if you accept that everything might not be smooth at first, it will not be so bad. When you find a parent whom you think you would really like to be friends with, you lose nothing by asking them to meet up some time, for a play date or some other activity. If the person is not interested, they will most likely decline in a polite way, and then you can move on and try again with someone else. Keep this up, and you soon have a small but growing circle of friends, and your child will be given ample opportunity to develop social skills. By Jamell Williams