By Jamell Andrews
Bonding is a natural attachment that develops between parents and their children over time. While many people would like for the bonding with their child to be instantaneous, the reality is that it takes time and patience for these attachments to develop and grow.
Why Bonding is Important
Based on years of research, scientists believe that if babies are not able to bond with their mothers it causes them to experience a variety of social problems later in life. Because of this, experts have decided that bonding is absolutely essential for the positive, healthy development of babies. The good news is that babies are born ready for the bonding experience with their parents. The bad news is that parents, even mothers, are not always ready for that experience right off the bat.
Ideally, bonding should not be looked at as something that has to happen immediately or within a short period of time. The fact of the matter is that bonding is a long-term process that sometimes takes years to fully develop. If you find that you do not instantly feel a sense of bonding with your newborn, do not despair. Not every parent instantly transforms and develops a cosmic type of connection with a new child.
Instead of trying to force the issue, most experts recommend that new parents try not to worry about when bonding is going to occur. If you take care of your child and show him or her proper amounts of attention, bonding will naturally occur. In some cases, it just takes a bit longer. That does not mean that there is anything wrong, however.
Building a Natural Attachment
New parents often have a difficult time trying to determine all of the different ways they can nurture their child and build bonding experiences. Fortunately, there are some basic ways that babies bond with the adults who take care of them.
- Make direct eye to eye contact with your baby on a regular basis. This actually provides your infant with communication that is quite meaningful, particularly when it is done at close range.
- Babies love to follow moving objects with their eyes. If you hold a small object in your hand, your baby will derive great enjoyment from following your movements.
- Talk to your baby. Babies identify the most with human voices, and most of them get a kick out of making sounds of their own. For the most part, try to speak conversationally to your baby about his environment and activities.
- Babies like to try to imitate your facial expressions and gestures, so try using this as a way to interact with your infant.
- Skin to skin contact is very important for the growth and development process of babies, so touch your baby often.
By the time you take your baby to his first doctor’s office visit, you should probably be experiencing at least a small amount of bonding with your child. If you find that you do not have the desire to bond with your baby at this point in time, or you just do not think it is happening, talk to your baby’s doctor. You could be experiencing postpartum depression, or it could simply be that you are too exhausted to bond. Either way, it is best to discuss the matter with a professional and get to the root of the issue.