In child care, there are few issues more contentious than where a baby should sleep. It is the kind of thing that can arouse arguments between friends and drive wedges between spouses. Everyone seems to have strong feelings about it, and there are no sleeping conditions that all doctors categorically recommend for everyone. This makes it an extra thorny issue, but it does not have to be so complicated. Ultimately, the main goal is to sleep in a way that is most beneficial for both the baby and the parents. And while sleeping habits are a matter of personal choice, there are things that doctors do and do not recommend.
Co-sleeping and Crib-sleeping
Because crib-sleeping is the conventional practice in most developed countries, many people are still unfamiliar with how co-sleeping works. Basically, co-sleeping is the practice of sleeping in a shared bed with your baby. This has been the traditional practice throughout much of history in most of the world, but to many of us in modern society it seems strange.
Meanwhile, according to medical authorities, there are some risks associated with bed-sharing. Namely, an American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) policy statement from 2005 warned that sharing a bed with a child increased the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other potential problems. Hardcore proponents of co-sleeping cite studies on their side of the issue, but the AAP is one of the most authoritative medical authorities in the country, and their findings difficult to dispute.
The main arguments in favor of co-sleeping are that it helps to promote the parent-child bond and that it makes it easier for mothers to breastfeed. These are of course very important issues, but most experts would argue that these benefits do not outweigh the elevated risk of SIDS. Plus, crib-sleeping does not necessarily prevent parents from bonding with their children, and attentive parents do not neglect their children at feeding time no matter what their sleeping situation.
Safety vs. Bonding
In the end, the issue comes down to a dichotomy involving safety and bonding, and there are some balanced solutions that provide both. Of course, how you and your child sleep is ultimately up to you, but many experts in the field of child-care recommend forms of co-sleeping that do not involve actually sharing a bed. For example, there are specially designed bassinets that attach to the side of the grown-up bed so that parents and child can be close without risk of getting into each other’s space.
There are equally valid options on the other side of the issue. If you are leaning toward crib-sleeping but still want to be able to develop that bond while being available to your child at all hours, there are solutions. One way is to compensate for the separate sleeping by making an effort to be there with extra love whenever your child wakes up, no matter what hour of the day it is. Meanwhile, there are also simple tools such as baby monitors, which help you keep tabs on your child even when in separate rooms.
When it comes to choosing a sleeping set-up for you and your newborn, there are no right answers, and it is of course perfectly fine to feel passionate about your choice. But just as there are many styles of parenting, there are many valid sleeping situations. Ultimately, if you understand the issue, have consulted your doctor, and do what feels right for your child, your spouse, and you, then you cannot go wrong.
By Jamell Andrews